I wave to my kids as they get on the bus every morning. One is in grade school, one in middle school, and one in high school. Most parents stop waving after their kids reach a certain age, but I still wave. My kids have come to love our little family ritual.
This morning, my middle schooler and I were texting back and forth while she waited for the bus in the driveway, and I on the porch. It was the usual, “I love you, have a good day.” She got on the bus, and I waved the bus away.
I got a text a few minutes later. “I’m sorry, Mommy,” I asked her why she was sorry. She explained she had sat in the wrong seat and could not wave.
Her little hand is hard to see with the tinted windows; I did not notice. I wanted to comfort her.
“But did you wave inside your heart to me?” Her reply was a yes. Then I texted.
“That’s what matters! I know even if you are unable to wave; you and I always see eachother’s heart in the matter.“
After texting, I sat to have a prayer. As I quieted my heart I felt a nudging. Things have been really tough lately. There are many things requiring faith on my part and action on God’s part, but I have not seen much action.
I started to see a similarity between me and the scenario that had just happened. But instead of thinking God doesn’t see me, I can’t see Him, just like my daughter had imagined. I have not seen God wave. I have been doubting His love and letting fear take hold instead of trusting His heart in the matter.
Do you find that you have trouble trusting that God loves you sometimes? When prayers aren’t answered right away, do you begin to doubt? You are not alone.
Dear Lord, Help me trust You more. Help me remember to trust Your heart in the matter when I don’t see You wave.
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