patience

My son is having a hard time with virtual school, and is yelling, ” I CAN’T AND I DON’T WANT TO DO THIS!” In my head I am screaming the same thing. My chest fills with anxiety. My breath is hard to catch. I can feel the tension in the room building. I need to breathe slowly and calmly but I can’t. I want to yell back at him. I am frustrated too!

I try and reason with him. I can feel my jaw tighten. I want him to just do his work and be calm. Yelling at him is not going to make it better. How can I respond calmly if all I want to do is yell back?

I decide to pray. “Jesse let’s pray about this. We need help.”

I bowed my head and grabbed his little hand. I still feel tense. He bowed his head with me.

“Lord, Thank you for today. Thank you that we can come to You when we need help. We need help calming down. We need help focusing in school today. Can you please help us get through this school day. In Jesus name, Amen”

We prayed a little prayer and decided to try again. Miraculously we both calmed down. I admit when I thought to pray I doubted it would work, but I was desperate. I did not want this day to get any worse. I needed help.

Prayer wins the day again! I love that God is so available and that He shows up when we need Him. We will probably need to say a few more prayers today, but we can trust that God will help us if we ask.

I often get frustrated with myself for not having patience when I need it. I have it all wrong. Instead of beating myself up for…I can stop and ask God to give me what I need.

Today, Jesse and I learned that when we don’t the patience we need, God does.